Posted in Uncategorized on December 7, 2008|
29 Comments »
Hello everyone!
My apologies for “disappearing” for some time. The month of Nov was one that I will never forget. It was so busy because my dad was admitted into hospital due to a massive heart attack which was something my family never expected. And my dad was recently called back to Heaven after a few weeks of staying strong and spending a lot of quality time with us. On top of that, I had filming and shoots to go to, so every single time I had I was by my dad’s side in hospital.
This is the first time I’ve ever seen my dad in hospital and I never expected it to be the last. It was a real shock for me to see him like that because he’s always been a strong man and full of zest in life. He always had a fire in him which made him the way he was. I must admit that the relationship with my dad was never the close kind where we would hug or say “I love U” to, but we would show each other our love in our own way. He was always protective over me as I’m his only daughter and made sure I ate, he would want to drive me around when I had to go somewhere even though I wanted to be independent and do it myself, he would call me when he’s overseas with my mum to ask if I’d want anything or ask when I’m free to go out for a family meal. He’s the best dad I could ever ask for. He supported all my decisions even though he might not approve of it i.e. joining SIA as a stewardess, joining Miss Singapore Universe, acting… guess he wanted me to be a doctor or lawyer but I wanted to follow my passions. I guess I’ve always wanted my dad to be proud of me in my own way and I was so excited that my very 1st 8 days cover was coming out on Monday and was telling my dad about it last week when he was discharged from hospital. But my dad never got to see it…
I still remember those days when my brothers and I were all still in school and every Saturday was a family outing where we would go somewhere nice to eat, shop in Supermarkets, drive to JB and just hung out as a family. My dad had always wanted to provide the best quality of living for us, especially his children. No matter how hard times were or how difficult it is to obtain something my dad would try his best to get the things we wanted growing up. That was why since young, I never told my parents what I really wanted. Even though I like My Lil Ponies or Care Bears, I never asked them to buy it for me cos I somehow knew that it’s not easy spending on your kids. There was a lot of things i liked and wanted when I was younger but I hardly voiced them out even till now. I really wanted to go for the foreign exchange programme in NUS but never applied for it because I knew it will be a huge financial burden for my parents and my parents were not earning a lot then. Because when my elder brother went in his year my mum told me how much they had to spend to send him for the exchange programme and how they had to get money for it so that my brother could go. That’s how much my dad loves us.
And I guess my love for pink has been instilled in by my dad. Being the traditional parent where girls must like pink and boys must like blue, my whole bedroom was pink from the walls to the bed to the cupboards. And up till today I still love the colour and always will. There’s so many things that I can pen down what I will miss about Dad and everything brings a tear to my eye.
I really want to say sorry to my dad that I was not able to say goodbye when he passed on, I arrived too late, I guess U were holding on for me because when I reached by your side, you left us that very minute. I’m sorry that I’m only saying I love U to you now when you’re in Heaven. We will take good care of Mum and I will promise you that we will be a closer family again. It is only now that I realise how fragile Life is and how we always take things for granted. Thank you daddy for bringing all of us up and loving us the way U did.You will always be in our hearts…
Missing you always,
Jessica
Read Full Post »
Jessica's Blog 